🚹➕🚺 = 🚼

Getting my dose of joe after so long.

Hello #tanmomo_ #dayrepregnancy #omgiampregnant

You look like a peanut 🥜 here. Haha!

Quite lazy to type the grandmother story. But I’ve draft them since I found out. LOL!

Sudden thirst.

I thought like. Fuck! Diabetes?

Well, during this period I have lots of funny googled questions. But yea, the answer kind of scares me.

And then the word “pregnancy” caught my attention

So this is what it’s about.

On 10/9:

I’ve took the test. Nothing show. But I was experiencing the sudden thirst on 8/9 (Friday). I’m like “WTF DID I DO TO MY BODY?” I couldn’t remember. I thought I had msg or something. I literally had 5 liters of water.

4 days later 14/9:

It was actually midnight. I couldn’t sleep. I was telling John I felt unwell. So we all went to bed early. But I couldn’t really sleep. Or I thought I did not.

I thought I was about to fall to sleep I had a dream about freaking humongous anaconda and I am going to use a sword to slice it. Wtf. Then I woke up. I went to the bathroom to pee. While I’m doing my business, I was like I still have the test, why not do it. Since I’m feeling weird. And I did, nothing shows or I was really exhausted, I just threw the test into the bin.

Got up at 7am, saw the test in the bin with 2 FREAKING LINES!

I quickly snap the pic, took another 3 test as you can see from the pic. 2 in the middle says “not pregnant” because I already peed in the toilet and I dipped them from the toilet bowl. The HCG level wasn’t that high, therefore it didn’t show the line. I waited for awhile, and took the third test from the urine cup. And there you are – the line.

Like so. Haha! My heart was beating so fast and my armpit was sweating. I texted Lara. Asking her what I should do. Like seriously, who asked the best friend before the husband? 🤷🏻‍♀️

This was the test I dip on the container of my urine. The line was so obvious. The first time I saw it. I couldn’t believe it. Seriously. I know we want kids, we are prepared for it. But seeing this tears me up. I was like sobbing. This is unreal.

My mother is also the first person to know. I sent out the pic at the same time.

We’ll talk about everyone’s reaction later.

UP TO DATE TODAY

This is the first belly pic I’ve took today since I found out. We are #9weeks today. I think this is not the baby showing. Is purely my fatty belly. Seriously.

I just want to say thank you very much to my parents.

I’m living with them since John has moved to JB, after knowing my pregnancy I thought I would be told to go back to my in-laws. I was terrified of that thought. Not that I don’t like the in-laws, is just “距离才是美” if you know what I mean. I can avoid all the unnecessary stress being apart and John is not there.

My mom has been very patient and helpful. She is always the first one to say she will do this and that for me. Or going to the appointments. Whatever happen, she will definitely be there.

So, if #tanmomo is being a brat towards the grandparents, I swear I will spank the shit outta him/her. John will do it too! John is forever grateful, I know how bad he feels for not able to be by our side and always troubling my parents for his own responsibility. But this is life. My parents wants the best for me, hope to lighten our burden by doing whatever they can. They never ask back or telling me what they’ve done for me. I am forever grateful and ashamed.

Emotional pregger! 😭

I am suppose to be 9 weeks today but the doc said + – 2 days is normal. At first I thought is my baby catching up slow? I saw the EDD and momo’s growth isn’t up to the date I’m expecting. So I’m like so worried. LOL. As careless as a human being I can be, towards this little life, I am super duper nervous.

I constantly think that I might do something and end it. Seriously.

I couldn’t tell which side is the head. I think right side?

And my doctor is sick. Poor guy has to work because all the mummies can’t wait to meet their little one.

And the clips has no sound. Why? You can catch the heartbeat here.

Bridal Shower

Thank you girls for throwing me such an amazing bridal shower. This is going to be in my memory forever. From bachelorette party to police station. What a great story to tell.

Experienced my first ever accident in my entire driving life. 😅

I think they need to be clean… Now what I know I’m lack of. A jewelry case.

I wanted to go back in time to share what happen yesterday. But I’m damn malas because I haven’t start cleaning my room and packing for the stuff for tomorrow ceremony. So…… Damn. I want to nap

What else?! I just realize I need to get work clothes too.

My Bridal Shower

The girls throw me a big surprise a week before the wedding.

Thanks my girls for throwing me such a big surprise.

Actually, I’ve just met an accident coming to the party. It was so dramatic. But this really change the whole thing. The venue and set up was really amazing, we had such a good time and after the bridal shower, we went to the police station to make the report of my car accident. DRAMA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Proposal

Yes, after almost 5 years of being together he proposed. Well, our plan was actually another 3 years. But the elderly in the house was saying why not we tied the knot first. I disagreed. Knowing what will happen in my side of family, I said we shall wait. Yet, my heart is hesitating. I wanted to be with this guy, he is a loving person. Maybe he is a little selfish listening to his uncle about our future, but still, this means responsibilities. 

So, I discuss with my parent (that was the original plan, but one of them absent because of not accepting the fact.). You know there’s always miscommunication going around… So that happen. After the discussion, one of my parent said “go do what need to be done.” I thought that was the green light. But NOPE! 

The thing is, when I heard the “go do what need to be done…” I quickly announce to John and his family. Immediately, they secure a date for the wedding ceremony. Like so fast. Then, you know… Shit happens. By the time John’s parents wanted to go see mine, my parents was like “there’s nothing much to talk about since his side of family and you already decided when and where is going to happen.” 

I gotta admit that, this is totally my fault. I made this and let this happen. But, things has been done. Payment had been made for bridal shooting. What else I can do? John has been stressing about all these and he desperately wanting to visit my parents after everything. I stop him. I don’t know what I am afraid of. But I stop him. 

Then, he proposed. I was having the thought of breaking up because it’s stressful and I don’t think I can handle that anymore. I said yes. 

Sigh… It was supposed to be a cheerful and happy moment. But all I was thinking was my parents. They were very upset because I did not live my life according to what they are planning. 

Marrying young is not a crime. But the thing is, I doesn’t even have a job. That’s why they were pissed. They are still pissed. I’m still going for job interviews. Trying my best to get a job I like and can support both of us. 

I don’t hate anyone. I am just upset for having family problems like this. 

Anyways, John manage to plan the proposal surprise without me notice. But I did suspect for a few times when his sister talk to me. On that day, it was not my best day. I was sick, and stress about the parents. I was throwing all my temper to him. I cried so hard cause I felt bad. Not only feeling bad for giving him shits, also felt bad for my parents because I couldn’t stood up for them. I love this man too much I couldn’t say no. Sometimes, love is really blind to make you to make a decision you know you will hurt the one who love you the most. 

John said trust him. Give him time. At the age of 28, he got no mountains of gold and silver, no rich dad who can let him live his life easier. He only have the heart to make it work. He needs support from the love one. Go through the tough time and live the life after he had fight for when he has nothing at all. 

I said yes. To stand by him, support him, trust him. I was living a very easy life, I don’t have to fight for what I want. I can just ask and I’ll have it. After I said yes, I know I will need to bare with what I couldn’t have. I am insecure, worrying that I will never ever going live that kind of easy life again. I see that coming. That life that will change a person, good or bad, no one knows. 

I choose John because of love and believe. 

I love my parents. No matter what they said, I can’t be mad at them forever.