First post but not a good one. I love to start with a good one but things seems to be more like a bitch to me. First my school did not offer me any subject, then they still don’t want to pay me back the owing amount.
Still there are good things. First trip on 2012 to Shanghai with friends. Had a lot of fun. But the inconvenient thing was I was and going to be anti social. Why I said I’m going to be? Because I got myself an internship at mom’s company and now I’m waiting for the lecturer approval. To prevent being anti-social, I created Weibo. The Facebook at China. HillaryEva my Weibo account and the blog HillEva. To catch up or read the blog because blogspot is also not allow at China. Seriously! So fucked up.
Hubby came home the other day. Same thing happened again. Just like the first time he came back to Malaysia since we’ve been dating. I don’t know how to deal with it and I do really hope I can figure out some way or another positive thinking to solve all these upset moment. I mean it obviously only happen on me, cause he got no problem at all. I understand he got lots of catch up to do with his family and friends, Chinese New Year is coming and he needs to help out. Is just, why won’t he complete the conversation and let me do my stuff? My heart is like hanging up and down when we are having conversation and suddenly he is M.I.A. WTF?! Well, another good news is the whole family member knows about him already and mom seems to be more open and kinder to him cause she is concern about our relationship. The first day he landed, we only spend few hours together and I went back home. Mom was doing her creative imagination and assumption again this time saying is John alright? Why wouldn’t he spend more time with me instead of hitting the gym at the first day since we have been separated for such a long time. I was like what?! I came back because I want to spend time with my own family too. All the aunts were coming and I don’t want to miss it. But I never tell her that. All I told her was, John did ask me to hit the gym together with Ben at Pyramid but I told him I got no appropriate outfit cause I don’t know he will really go to the gym on the first day. Also, I told her that he dare not to keep me for so long to himself cause he knows she’s here. Then she was like hmmm good. It’s really hard and mind fucked up to make both of them happy. Well, these stuff was suppose to be told to John but he was busy chatting with his neighbor and never reply me anything. I am mad to be honest. But what to do? Yell at him? I won’t do that. It’s selfish if I really did it.
I just hope we get more quality time together and talk about the stuff we were suppose to talk. Like me going to New York and he will be continue studying for another 2 years. Stuff like this have to be discuss and figure a best way to make both of us happy. I am scare. I know the old times will never happen again, like how he used to be so caring and stuff cause we already been through that stage. Now I think of the video Stranger Again. FUCK! I don’t want this to happen!!!
I hope he can come to my house and say hi to mom, hang out at my place with me instead of me going to his place every time. Sigh! Relationship is complicated.
Littlebutfierce - Dayre 