Anniversary

I wrote this on 27 Dec. The night I did something stupid. It’s not even our anniversary. But this is how I felt before it.
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Maybe I need some time to be alone… WHAT AM I SAYING? I AM ALONE ALL THE TIME!

Sleepless. Following Dream?

Sleepless night I guess. I was sleeping, and some sound woke me up. It’s really annoying but I can’t get back to sleep already. My mind is full of study abroad stuff. New York, new life, being apart again, all alone and stuff like that. It’s not like I’m leaving next month. This is just a plan that I really want it to happen, I don’t care how much I need to sacrifice. I never hesitate and I am willing to give up something that most of my close friends and even my own mother would never expect. I thought it was the assignment that keeps my mind running, but honestly, is it true that I am worry that much about the assignment? The fact is I have been thinking too much. I’ve been imagining what is going to happen next, it’s not the assignment, the assignment is not the issue. Maybe I am hungry at this hour, I couldn’t stand the emptiness in my stomach that making sound to wake me up. Really?! 

I’m not sure if I’m ready to give up everything I have in here now. I am so happy but I feel so unbalance in the same time cause I wanted, always wanted to live/study at the other country to gain experience. I have someone I’m so in love with who’s studying at Taiwan and might continue study there for another 2 and a half years. I don’t have plan B, I only have plan A, that is finish school at Malaysia, fly to New York and continue. I never thought what if it don’t work out. Until now only I think of it. Yea, what if the plan is not going to work? This is like a myth now. WTF?! It’s like never gonna get the answer until it happens. FML! I guess I’m not going to sleep any sooner. Sigh. 

Letter For Mr. John

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So, today was family day except we have to bring an outsider to join us. I never want him to be in the gathering but too bad mom don’t allow. I don’t feel comfortable at all. I am falling sick and now I know why, cause I didn’t drink water for 2 days. Seriously?! How ridiculous I could be? If hubby read this, I’m so done. XP

We had our movie session at One Utama at 6pm and aunt mixed up the 635pm movie. We missed the front part, and also, another movie session on tomorrow as well. Hubby said we are watching for revenge. haha! Today we watch Petaling Street Warriors and tomorrow we are going to watch You Are The Apple Of My Eye, this time without him. WHAT?! He already watch this, why want to waste our money? *evil side of hillary appear!*

Since I’m not feeling well, I’m going to bed earlier cause I don’t want to make it worst. Hubby went for some activity at the centre part of Taiwan for 2 days, so no Skype or iChat. Chiao~